day forty

fact number forty five: having fun should be the most important thing in life.

not to say you shouldn’t make time for serious conversations and all that comes with doing something with your life… but what does it all mean if you’re not having fun getting there? if you ask me, it’s more important to have fun with life than to not. not having fun turns into self loathing… which can then turn into selfishness, jealousy and resentment. in such a competitive economy… rather than knocking down your competition build them up. support them. help them grow. because no matter who winds up being “more” successful at the end of the day, you both win. the collaboration has taught everyone something new (hopefully) about themselves or their peers. we need to remember that without each others support, we are no where and we are no one.

i have to always keep in mind the importance of loving what i do and surrounding yourself with those who are as passionate, eager and loyal as myself, while staying true to who i am as i continue my journey to better acquaint myself with…. myself.

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day thirtythree

fact number fortyfour: self progress is a never ending adventure and i’m okay with it taking as long as it needs to take to reach my goals.

“Life is not about how fast you achieve your goals, its not about whats waiting for you once you’ve achieved them, its about the experiences you’ve had and the lessons you’ve learned in the process.” -Samantha Loffman

Samantha i cannot express to you how amazing and inspiring it was to hear that from someone other than myself. i literally said the exact same thing, practically word for word yesterday to a friend of mine. the past day or so i have felt like i was being pushed to be someone i’m not, that my passion and my desire to succeed was being questioned and strongly doubted. it wasn’t until i said that i will grow in my own time, that it’s okay to know what you want in life and to not back down from reaching your goals while maintaining your happiness.

i would much rather do what i love to do and take longer to get where i want to get than be miserable in the process by doing something that doesn’t make me happy. that is to say, when you are content with your actions, when you have confidence and know your strengths, weaknesses and have that strong driving force you are already unstoppable… there’s no need to take the long road through aspects of life which make you miserable when you have your desire to succeed in what you want to do on your side. that’s what defines the successful from the unsuccessful… those who are happy waking up every morning doing what they love to do are successful and honest, those who are not happy are in turn unsuccessful; no matter how much money you earn.

i also want to add that in order to know what it is you really want to do with your life you need to explore all aspects of that field and those fields neighboring your ultimate goal. only then will you know what it is that makes you TRULY happy. you never know when something could surprise you or when you find something new about your craft (in my case, photography) that could completely change your entire way of looking at the world… or doing so… exploring other chapters of your craft could 100% confirm what it is you’ve always thought was what you wanted to do.

it’s okay to not want to do everything. it’s okay to know what you want. and just because you don’t necessarily enjoy every part of your field doesn’t mean you are any bit less passionate for your craft. it means you are confident in what makes you happy and are strong enough to stand up for what you believe in and for what drives you. be honest with yourself and trust yourself enough to fight for what you believe in…. that is passion.

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day twentyeight

fact number fortythree: it’s better to be busy than to be wondering what you could become.

before i get started i want to apologize for not blogging the past couple of days. life has been a bit crazier than usual… it just seems like there’s not enough time in one day, or that the days only last for 6 hours or so. it’s really hard to slow down in a city that doesn’t stop for anyone… but it all links back to the thought that it’s better to be swamped than to be unproductive, and to in turn have zero opportunities ahead. i personally put that aspect very high on my agenda… always (i say “always” loosely) have somewhere to be or be planning on having somewhere to be. i’m talking about taking action and making things work because you’re passionate about them. that should never be slacking.

what’s most important for me though is that i don’t portray myself as having too much on my plate, because i don’t feel i do. yes, at times things can get hairy between the phone calls and the forever changing plans, “school frustrations” but it’s all doing good in my life. it’s when you feel pushed to deliver that you inevitably succeed. it just so happens that my way of dealing with stress is to vent. getting it all out just makes me feel better, it’s like i’m conquering my worries and my stresses. speaking the problems and figuring out solutions is my way of making them physical and i therefore am able to overpower.

i think a light bulb was just turned on.

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day twentyfive

fact number fortytwo: family is defined by the people who have your back. i forget who it was that said that in their acceptance speech at the golden globes tonight (example of how my memory sucks as pointed out at the beginning of this now 25 day journey) but it stuck with me. it made me reconsider a lot of the things i have been doubting. there are a lot of people out there who have my back and who i know always will. they are the people who think what i have to say has value, those who trust in my growth and know that if the tables were turned i would be right by their side as they have been for me. i owe a lot to these people. and i feel i haven’t really paid tribute to those individuals who have always been there step by step, day by day encouraging me and influencing me, supporting me. i am about to reach a time in my life where i will be needing the support of those people more than ever… there is something to be said to remembering and confronting that which you wish to forget. this is my new project… i want to face that which has seemingly held power over me, i want to conquer those in my life who have done me wrong and who have shaped the person i am today for better or worse… by doing so it can only bring me closer to my goal of finding myself… i will be discovering completely different aspects about my life and my past which i have been sweeping under the carpet for the past 15 years or so… it’s time for them to be revealed.

there will be more information about what it is that this series will mean… i will be writing about all the different people i will be photographing and the affect the traumatic experiences has had on me, how i have defeated them and how it isn’t difficult to move on from a heart wrenching event when you have the confidence and the family to support you… all you need are people there who have your back.

this is a short one but an important one… make sure those individuals in your life who have had your back know how much that means to you because when you decide to face the past you’ll need them to be there to help you stand up to your fears.

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day twentyfour

fact number forty-one: i don’t always take my own advice.  in yesterday’s post i said how you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff and that it’s more important to roll with the punches than it is to dwell… and that when you turn a day that could have easily been ruined by certain aspects going wrong into a great day you discover different things about yourself, meet new people… some of which could change your life.  when i wrote that i was talking about a situation i was experiencing at the time, my friend Jonathan was photographing a brazilian party down town and he had invited me… i was 100% down.  until i couldn’t find someone available to go with me… for all sorts of different reasons… plus i was pretty tired and a part of me really just wanted to go to bed.  in the same breath you could also say a part of me was upset because i wasn’t going out, writing the blog was like therapy, much like it is for many of us bloggers.  it helped me overcome being upset to the point where i was about to go to sleep early, then i layed down, closed my eyes and couldn’t stop thinking about the part of my blog where i said that when you roll with the punches you open the door to new experiences.  by closing my eyes and heading to bed i was being a complete hypocrite.  i wasn’t comfortable with that.  i felt like i was cheating myself and lying to you.  i was even more uncomfortable with that.  so what did i do? i pulled up my big girl pants, went to the party and had a great time.  it turned out to be an amazing night, and was actually better that i went alone because i could have left when i wanted to, i didn’t have to depend on anyone else.  it was a very freeing experience which tested my confidence…

i think it’s hugely important to be able to do, go and experience things on your own.  granted when i got to the party i met up with Jon and his girlfriend, Caroline… so i wasn’t exactly on my own at this party but i hope it will make it easier for me to continue doing things and going places on my own, not being lonely, being alone… those are two different things.

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day twentythree

fact number forty: when small things go wrong i get completely thrown off track… i need to learn how to roll with the punches, things will go wrong, plans will be broken, people will change and guess what live goes on not so differently than you may expect.  just because one aspect of your life goes astray or seems like it isn’t worth it or that it’s not going to be exactly what you’d hope it was doesn’t mean that there won’t be other opportunities to explore.  i need to learn that it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s not the end of the world… being wrong, it’s how we learn and how we grow… how we inevitably find ourselves… when we make mistakes or when things don’t exactly go our way it’s life’s way of saying it’s time for a little lesson… time to pick yourself up and “keep on keeping on”.  the mistakes aren’t what we should focus on… rather think about how you can turn things around… make your day… night… week better than you had expected, who knows it could lead you somewhere you never thought you could end up…

as some of you may know, i have entered a self portrait competition and need your help! please go to and vote the number of stars you feel my bio and photos deserve… you can vote once a day for the next 4 days, thank you again for your continued support, i know you readers are there and i can’t explain how much i appreciate it ❤

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I need your help!

Please vote for my portfolio at Hi! and mark your vote by the number of stars you think it deserves… of course 5 stars would be amazing! This is part of the self portrait series which is linked with this daily blog… thanks for all of the support!

cheers : )

day twentythree

fact number thirtynine: i don’t ever want to give up on someone.

before i rant, first listen to this story:
one day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. the animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

he invited all his neighbors to come over and help him… they all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. at first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

a few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. he was astonished at what he saw. with each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. he would shake it off and take a step up.

as the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up and over the edge of the wall and happily trotted off.


ok. now… this is quite possibly the most disturbing, most refreshing and most telling story about human nature and the power to overcome obstacles i have ever read. too often do we discount that which seems to have little to no worth… in reality it’s what has little worth that completes the cycle. it’s the little things. which help fit the puzzle together.

the complete disregard for life and the power to prove your worth. not only did this farmer depend on this donkey, he had i’m sure developed some sort of relationship with him. the donkey was old… we know this from what was written, so that implies that the farmer has had the animal for a number of years… i’m sorry, any animal which is in your life (humans included) will most certainly have an emotional connection with you. IT’S HUMAN NATURE! as it was human nature to disregard that which is old and therefore useless? unfortunately this seems to be true from what is described here. i cannot tell you how much that bothers me. and this isn’t only the case with adults… it also is evident in young children. i don’t know about your experiences but i know plenty of families where young kids (4-12 years old) want nothing to do with their Grandparents. they’re old, they’re boring, they’re annoying? let’s try they love the shit out of you and would do anything for you. granted this may not be the case in every family but i am a believer in the idea of there being good in everyone, and in the sense of a family member, that love may not always be at the forefront of every relationship, every day… but it’s there because it’s family… much like how that farmer was part of the donkey’s family… they depended on one another, and when the donkey needed something from the farmer he chose to give up on the animal. never give up on someone because you think they are worthless… every single person on this planet was put there to hold some importance in your life. remember that and be grateful that they are sharing this world with you and accepting you for you, and even if they don’t accept you for you, appreciate the fact that they think you’re important enough to hold an opinion about you and about your life.

every day try to prove to those who doubt you that you are not a lost cause, that you can overcome and that you are worth a lot more than they initially expected.

“we can get over the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up.”

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day twentytwo

fact number thirtyeight: This is me exploring more of the meaning behind my photographs and what photography does for me, to me, with me.

Photography has always been about exploring the unknown.  I photograph when I am emotional, when I am at my most vulnerable and therefore my most inspired.  Photography turns my weaknesses into strengths.  It gives me the opportunity to grow through self reflection and through the criticism of others.  Each photograph, each click of the shutter, takes me one step closer to self knowledge.  It helps me focus on what is important in my life, what is mundane and what I should cherish.  In order to photograph beautifully I believe you must feel some sort of emotion, whether it be happiness, sadness, compassion or otherwise… and translate those emotions through your lens in a way recognizable to society.

that’s the first paragraph to the artist’s statement for my self portrait show at the end of february… with this in mind i am working on a couple new pieces, new series… two completely different styles… completely different meanings.  One having to deal with my personal work and the other representing what i want for my professional portfolio… both of which will be very important to me (obviously… otherwise why would i be working on them) and both exploring two different sides of my personality… i feel i am a completely different photographer when i photograph outside of the studio so it will be interesting to see what comes of this semesters work… i will keep you posted and begin posting photos on here so you don’t have to navigate to see my work… i want you to feel more involved i want you to be inspired.

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day twentyone

fact number thirtyseven: “it’s always been photography” -Liz Von Hoene.

fact number thirty seven is that Liz Von Hoene has opened my eyes to why i love photography and why i am busting my behind to become a success. it really has always been photography. (yes i have dated other majors but i was always seeing photography on the side -wink wink-) and it’s so refreshing to hear someone put it so bluntly. she just knew. she knew it was what she wanted to do and there was nothing else on the planet which could compare… my thoughts exactly. what makes me so giddy though is that as i was reading an interview conducted by Portfolio Center i literally was reading Ms. Von Hoene say exactly, word for friggen word, what i have been telling my friends, family and peers this whole time. now, i have met plenty of people who are just as inspired and excited for this field, but no one who is in the realm of photography which most interests me… that being beauty/fashion/lifestyle photography. right now i’m leaning more towards the beauty aspect. i think that’s my strongest asset as a young photographer. i see myself in that work, in the photos which are all about the model and her face. i mean in a sense all photographs are about the model and her face but beauty is different in that most of the time, there’s not much else in the frame to distract from the models face… there’s no fancy, shinny, glimmering backdrop, none of that nonsense. it’s all on you, your lighting, your connection with the model. that’s it. nothing else… it’s 100% about how YOU make the model look, feel and therefore perform beautifully. it’s just such an amazing feeling i have right now because i have a clearer vision and am ready to begin building the portfolio i deserve to have.

today has been awesome.

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