Vacancy


5 months later…

I’m a different person than you may have remembered.

 

How so is harder to explain than I’d like to admit/realize so maybe my new photo&text blog can do that explaining for me… as always your thoughts are welcome and appreciated.

day sixty nine

fact number fifty one: i need to be more in tune. more involved with things, every-things.

for two: photography. i need to take the time to do my thing. to be me in my photos. this journey i have been on, taking an active role in visualizing my actions. by noting my flaws and my attributes i have grown and am more self conscious. it’s time for that sense of self to pull through my images and slap the viewer across the face without hesitation they know it’s a Jacqueline Iannacone Photography photograph. that capability is what photography is about. being noticed. causing a scene. getting known. all any of us ever want to do is get known. for something. anything. and maybe if they see me for one thing they’ll glance at my art. is that what this industry will be about? a series of people just trying to get seen above the other artist. is it a game of who can out do the other, who can offend the most people. who can cause the most chatter. for some i guess that’s what it’s about and since art is art is art is art, who am i to say it isn’t. i am not arguing that photographs featuring such graphic subjects as what i’ve outlined isn’t art, i just do not agree with the method. is it art or is it amateur art overly complicated mess? that’s for you to decide.  i for one am not going on that path.  i do not wish to make a scene over disgusting the public.  i’d rather have people talking about my art and my concept and my vision, the execution and love that went into my work. the guts. the goods. the glue.

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day sixty eight

Posted in finding myself: the journey every person must complete by Jacqueline Iannacone on February 28, 2010
Tags: , ,

fact number fifty: i need to be more in tune. more involved with things, every-things.

for one: this blog. i have not posted anything for two weeks. two weeks is a long time. too long. thing is, just because i haven’t been blogging doesnt mean i havent been thinking about blogging. i missed it so much. my fingers just can’t stop typing because it feels so good just to be here again. in this seat. doing this. it is permanent. i will always be able to sit here, wherever here will be, i will be in the same place. my … my mind is in its own home, where the world surrounding me is mindless; senseless. all that matters is myself living in this moment, taking this time to myself to write about -to vent and express without complaining about- my life and my journey. it is mine. it is a growing, changing, timeless thing that i need to focus more on. i have to be involved in this thing -blogging- so i can use each day to my advantage. without waiting for tomorrow, or for when im going to sleep or for when i go home or for when i remind myself that i want to write today or for when i think of a brilliant blog and decide to not write something down, then is when i need to change my habits. then is when i need to decide. because all this life is is a list of decisions you choose to make each day. every little minute decision to not write something down, or to complain about that which you do not have or to blame others for your short comings directly reflects the life you want to life. with this in thought we need to realize that who you are lies in the decisions we make… every single day.

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day fifty four

fact number forty nine: giving back leaves me happier than i have ever felt.

i won’t get into the details, but recently i had the opportunity to photograph a charity event which celebrated loving yourself and making sure you choose yourself first. when i heard the story behind this project i couldn’t think of turn it down. to give you a taste of my joy… half way through i found myself wanting to text all of my friends and tell them about how amazing this experience had been.

the people i got to know, each individual… all so different, so unique, all had one thing in common… they had hope in the future. they believed in a better life. and when they saw everything the volunteers had put into this event… well the thankfulness was undeniable. it gives me chills just thinking about all the smiles i saw that day. not one person was in a bad mood, not one person was bitter, angry or resentful… they were simply beyond inspiring (both the volunteers and the participants).

going through the photos tonight brought me right back to the event. every photograph i took was a story, every subject had something important to say and i couldn’t help but be tuned in. one situation in particular stuck with me. this person in particular was eager to get away from the mirror, they wanted to move quickly through the stations as if they were a burden to the volunteer they were working with… until the volunteer said, “wait… slow down. look at yourself. this is your day… take your time and take it all in.” it reminded me that every day we must take the time to see ourselves. not only to see ourselves but to see the beauty in our imperfections (both men and women) and have the confidence to show ourselves off in a positive manner.

i have never really looked at myself and reflected back on what has happened in my past and how it has shaped the person i am today… this event revealed that to me. this event opened my eyes to a new point of view.

i have learned to be thankful for that which i have, embrace that which is to come and take life as it is, step by step.

transformations don’t happen over night they happen when you stop looking in the mirror seeing a stranger staring back and start seeing the inspiring, strong and confident person you can and will be.

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day fifty

fact number forty eight: i try to be there when i have to be there for people but i’m the worst at keeping touch in between

i am quite possibly they worst person at keeping in touch with old friends. maybe it’s just that i occupy my time so vastly into what is happening now to prepare for the future that i completely forget about the past. forgetting about the past has played a significant role in my life… from childhood i was continuously forgetting about that which has happened and focus on what is to come. i was always planning. all the time. maybe it was a defense mechanism. maybe it was my way of keeping people close… because if we had plans for tomorrow or the next day we continued to be a part of each others lives.

either way, planning was (and in a big way still is) a part of my day to day life. i wrote things down. mindless things. lists and lists of things to do, places to go. not interesting ones. nothing life changing. just a list of what i was doing for the day… productive? yes. freeing? no.

no wonder why i have found myself at 21 with little knowledge of what has brought me to the place i stand today. i was so focused on planning today that when today turned into tomorrow i had forgotten what had got me to yesterday’s today.

yesterday in a sense never existed. that’s what happens when you are blinded by the possibilities of today and of tomorrow. so where does that leave me? because i don’t want it to continue. i don’t want to walk around with countless forgotten yesterdays.

… wow that’s a nice little message, i don’t want to walk around with countless forgotten yesterdays…

that sounds like a good way to close things up

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day fortytwo

fact number fortyseven: i’m one of those people who believe in horoscopes and whimsical thoughts, card readings, psychics… all that shit. does that make me naive? i don’t think so. i believe there is something to be said for having faith in higher powers, not Godly.. though that’s not a bad thing to have faith in… what i’m concerned with is the predictions about the future, what other people have studied and have generated, through their research… ideas and advice regarding the future the past and most importantly… the now, the present… these horoscopes, these general predictions help to guide the path to success.

and they’re pretty accurate.

you may think they’re too general to not be accurate… that all these people are doing is reading body language, vocal inflictions… but i think there’s something there.

today i read my horoscope, as i do from time to time when i’m looking for guidance and curious about what lies ahead… at this time, if you haven’t read yesterdays blog, please do because the connection between what your about to read today and what i posted yesterday is undeniable…

yesterdays horoscope was about love… “Are you falling for someone you know on the job, Virgo? If so, you might find out that your feelings are reciprocated. Your friend could telephone or e-mail and invite you out, away from work. Some other people might be present, but this won’t stop you from getting better acquainted and realizing that this relationship shows promise. The only problem is that you may have to keep it under your hat for a while, at least at work.”

“are you serious!” i thought…

it’s just funny how things fall into place, when i blogged yesterday i hadn’t read this horoscope. no clue. nothing. both were written on separate days, by separate people, yet both had a significant amount to do with the other. if i have learned nothing other than that there is truth in that which we are fastest to doubt, im satisfied.

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day forty one

fact number fortysix: i have not control over who my heart decides to fall for.

today has brought about a lot of questions… all of which have yet to be answered but will be in time. all it takes it time, for something to fall into, out of, into and back out of place… the key here is having the patience to wait for the right moment, when there is an undeniable, irresistable connection, when things fall back into place. and stay in place. when you have no reservation about who you are, when you are completely perfect in the eyes of someone else, when they build you up during your journey instead of doubting your destination… that is when things will get in place and stay in place. when life just seems to work. without much effort, with such grace and ease, life will be perceived as perfection. something worth waiting for.

love is on that list of things i am waiting for, but chiefly on that list lies the patience of waiting for when life simply and purely… works.

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day forty

fact number forty five: having fun should be the most important thing in life.

not to say you shouldn’t make time for serious conversations and all that comes with doing something with your life… but what does it all mean if you’re not having fun getting there? if you ask me, it’s more important to have fun with life than to not. not having fun turns into self loathing… which can then turn into selfishness, jealousy and resentment. in such a competitive economy… rather than knocking down your competition build them up. support them. help them grow. because no matter who winds up being “more” successful at the end of the day, you both win. the collaboration has taught everyone something new (hopefully) about themselves or their peers. we need to remember that without each others support, we are no where and we are no one.

i have to always keep in mind the importance of loving what i do and surrounding yourself with those who are as passionate, eager and loyal as myself, while staying true to who i am as i continue my journey to better acquaint myself with…. myself.

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day thirtythree

fact number fortyfour: self progress is a never ending adventure and i’m okay with it taking as long as it needs to take to reach my goals.

“Life is not about how fast you achieve your goals, its not about whats waiting for you once you’ve achieved them, its about the experiences you’ve had and the lessons you’ve learned in the process.” -Samantha Loffman

Samantha i cannot express to you how amazing and inspiring it was to hear that from someone other than myself. i literally said the exact same thing, practically word for word yesterday to a friend of mine. the past day or so i have felt like i was being pushed to be someone i’m not, that my passion and my desire to succeed was being questioned and strongly doubted. it wasn’t until i said that i will grow in my own time, that it’s okay to know what you want in life and to not back down from reaching your goals while maintaining your happiness.

i would much rather do what i love to do and take longer to get where i want to get than be miserable in the process by doing something that doesn’t make me happy. that is to say, when you are content with your actions, when you have confidence and know your strengths, weaknesses and have that strong driving force you are already unstoppable… there’s no need to take the long road through aspects of life which make you miserable when you have your desire to succeed in what you want to do on your side. that’s what defines the successful from the unsuccessful… those who are happy waking up every morning doing what they love to do are successful and honest, those who are not happy are in turn unsuccessful; no matter how much money you earn.

i also want to add that in order to know what it is you really want to do with your life you need to explore all aspects of that field and those fields neighboring your ultimate goal. only then will you know what it is that makes you TRULY happy. you never know when something could surprise you or when you find something new about your craft (in my case, photography) that could completely change your entire way of looking at the world… or doing so… exploring other chapters of your craft could 100% confirm what it is you’ve always thought was what you wanted to do.

it’s okay to not want to do everything. it’s okay to know what you want. and just because you don’t necessarily enjoy every part of your field doesn’t mean you are any bit less passionate for your craft. it means you are confident in what makes you happy and are strong enough to stand up for what you believe in and for what drives you. be honest with yourself and trust yourself enough to fight for what you believe in…. that is passion.

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day twentyeight

fact number fortythree: it’s better to be busy than to be wondering what you could become.

before i get started i want to apologize for not blogging the past couple of days. life has been a bit crazier than usual… it just seems like there’s not enough time in one day, or that the days only last for 6 hours or so. it’s really hard to slow down in a city that doesn’t stop for anyone… but it all links back to the thought that it’s better to be swamped than to be unproductive, and to in turn have zero opportunities ahead. i personally put that aspect very high on my agenda… always (i say “always” loosely) have somewhere to be or be planning on having somewhere to be. i’m talking about taking action and making things work because you’re passionate about them. that should never be slacking.

what’s most important for me though is that i don’t portray myself as having too much on my plate, because i don’t feel i do. yes, at times things can get hairy between the phone calls and the forever changing plans, “school frustrations” but it’s all doing good in my life. it’s when you feel pushed to deliver that you inevitably succeed. it just so happens that my way of dealing with stress is to vent. getting it all out just makes me feel better, it’s like i’m conquering my worries and my stresses. speaking the problems and figuring out solutions is my way of making them physical and i therefore am able to overpower.

i think a light bulb was just turned on.

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