Vacancy


day sixty nine

fact number fifty one: i need to be more in tune. more involved with things, every-things.

for two: photography. i need to take the time to do my thing. to be me in my photos. this journey i have been on, taking an active role in visualizing my actions. by noting my flaws and my attributes i have grown and am more self conscious. it’s time for that sense of self to pull through my images and slap the viewer across the face without hesitation they know it’s a Jacqueline Iannacone Photography photograph. that capability is what photography is about. being noticed. causing a scene. getting known. all any of us ever want to do is get known. for something. anything. and maybe if they see me for one thing they’ll glance at my art. is that what this industry will be about? a series of people just trying to get seen above the other artist. is it a game of who can out do the other, who can offend the most people. who can cause the most chatter. for some i guess that’s what it’s about and since art is art is art is art, who am i to say it isn’t. i am not arguing that photographs featuring such graphic subjects as what i’ve outlined isn’t art, i just do not agree with the method. is it art or is it amateur art overly complicated mess? that’s for you to decide.  i for one am not going on that path.  i do not wish to make a scene over disgusting the public.  i’d rather have people talking about my art and my concept and my vision, the execution and love that went into my work. the guts. the goods. the glue.

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day fifty four

fact number forty nine: giving back leaves me happier than i have ever felt.

i won’t get into the details, but recently i had the opportunity to photograph a charity event which celebrated loving yourself and making sure you choose yourself first. when i heard the story behind this project i couldn’t think of turn it down. to give you a taste of my joy… half way through i found myself wanting to text all of my friends and tell them about how amazing this experience had been.

the people i got to know, each individual… all so different, so unique, all had one thing in common… they had hope in the future. they believed in a better life. and when they saw everything the volunteers had put into this event… well the thankfulness was undeniable. it gives me chills just thinking about all the smiles i saw that day. not one person was in a bad mood, not one person was bitter, angry or resentful… they were simply beyond inspiring (both the volunteers and the participants).

going through the photos tonight brought me right back to the event. every photograph i took was a story, every subject had something important to say and i couldn’t help but be tuned in. one situation in particular stuck with me. this person in particular was eager to get away from the mirror, they wanted to move quickly through the stations as if they were a burden to the volunteer they were working with… until the volunteer said, “wait… slow down. look at yourself. this is your day… take your time and take it all in.” it reminded me that every day we must take the time to see ourselves. not only to see ourselves but to see the beauty in our imperfections (both men and women) and have the confidence to show ourselves off in a positive manner.

i have never really looked at myself and reflected back on what has happened in my past and how it has shaped the person i am today… this event revealed that to me. this event opened my eyes to a new point of view.

i have learned to be thankful for that which i have, embrace that which is to come and take life as it is, step by step.

transformations don’t happen over night they happen when you stop looking in the mirror seeing a stranger staring back and start seeing the inspiring, strong and confident person you can and will be.

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day forty

fact number forty five: having fun should be the most important thing in life.

not to say you shouldn’t make time for serious conversations and all that comes with doing something with your life… but what does it all mean if you’re not having fun getting there? if you ask me, it’s more important to have fun with life than to not. not having fun turns into self loathing… which can then turn into selfishness, jealousy and resentment. in such a competitive economy… rather than knocking down your competition build them up. support them. help them grow. because no matter who winds up being “more” successful at the end of the day, you both win. the collaboration has taught everyone something new (hopefully) about themselves or their peers. we need to remember that without each others support, we are no where and we are no one.

i have to always keep in mind the importance of loving what i do and surrounding yourself with those who are as passionate, eager and loyal as myself, while staying true to who i am as i continue my journey to better acquaint myself with…. myself.

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day thirtythree

fact number fortyfour: self progress is a never ending adventure and i’m okay with it taking as long as it needs to take to reach my goals.

“Life is not about how fast you achieve your goals, its not about whats waiting for you once you’ve achieved them, its about the experiences you’ve had and the lessons you’ve learned in the process.” -Samantha Loffman

Samantha i cannot express to you how amazing and inspiring it was to hear that from someone other than myself. i literally said the exact same thing, practically word for word yesterday to a friend of mine. the past day or so i have felt like i was being pushed to be someone i’m not, that my passion and my desire to succeed was being questioned and strongly doubted. it wasn’t until i said that i will grow in my own time, that it’s okay to know what you want in life and to not back down from reaching your goals while maintaining your happiness.

i would much rather do what i love to do and take longer to get where i want to get than be miserable in the process by doing something that doesn’t make me happy. that is to say, when you are content with your actions, when you have confidence and know your strengths, weaknesses and have that strong driving force you are already unstoppable… there’s no need to take the long road through aspects of life which make you miserable when you have your desire to succeed in what you want to do on your side. that’s what defines the successful from the unsuccessful… those who are happy waking up every morning doing what they love to do are successful and honest, those who are not happy are in turn unsuccessful; no matter how much money you earn.

i also want to add that in order to know what it is you really want to do with your life you need to explore all aspects of that field and those fields neighboring your ultimate goal. only then will you know what it is that makes you TRULY happy. you never know when something could surprise you or when you find something new about your craft (in my case, photography) that could completely change your entire way of looking at the world… or doing so… exploring other chapters of your craft could 100% confirm what it is you’ve always thought was what you wanted to do.

it’s okay to not want to do everything. it’s okay to know what you want. and just because you don’t necessarily enjoy every part of your field doesn’t mean you are any bit less passionate for your craft. it means you are confident in what makes you happy and are strong enough to stand up for what you believe in and for what drives you. be honest with yourself and trust yourself enough to fight for what you believe in…. that is passion.

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day twentyeight

fact number fortythree: it’s better to be busy than to be wondering what you could become.

before i get started i want to apologize for not blogging the past couple of days. life has been a bit crazier than usual… it just seems like there’s not enough time in one day, or that the days only last for 6 hours or so. it’s really hard to slow down in a city that doesn’t stop for anyone… but it all links back to the thought that it’s better to be swamped than to be unproductive, and to in turn have zero opportunities ahead. i personally put that aspect very high on my agenda… always (i say “always” loosely) have somewhere to be or be planning on having somewhere to be. i’m talking about taking action and making things work because you’re passionate about them. that should never be slacking.

what’s most important for me though is that i don’t portray myself as having too much on my plate, because i don’t feel i do. yes, at times things can get hairy between the phone calls and the forever changing plans, “school frustrations” but it’s all doing good in my life. it’s when you feel pushed to deliver that you inevitably succeed. it just so happens that my way of dealing with stress is to vent. getting it all out just makes me feel better, it’s like i’m conquering my worries and my stresses. speaking the problems and figuring out solutions is my way of making them physical and i therefore am able to overpower.

i think a light bulb was just turned on.

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I need your help!

Please vote for my portfolio at Hi!  http://www.artistswanted.org/jacquelineiannacone and mark your vote by the number of stars you think it deserves… of course 5 stars would be amazing! This is part of the self portrait series which is linked with this daily blog… thanks for all of the support!

cheers : )

day twentythree

fact number thirtynine: i don’t ever want to give up on someone.

before i rant, first listen to this story:
one day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. the animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

he invited all his neighbors to come over and help him… they all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. at first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

a few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. he was astonished at what he saw. with each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. he would shake it off and take a step up.

as the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up and over the edge of the wall and happily trotted off.

———–

ok. now… this is quite possibly the most disturbing, most refreshing and most telling story about human nature and the power to overcome obstacles i have ever read. too often do we discount that which seems to have little to no worth… in reality it’s what has little worth that completes the cycle. it’s the little things. which help fit the puzzle together.

the complete disregard for life and the power to prove your worth. not only did this farmer depend on this donkey, he had i’m sure developed some sort of relationship with him. the donkey was old… we know this from what was written, so that implies that the farmer has had the animal for a number of years… i’m sorry, any animal which is in your life (humans included) will most certainly have an emotional connection with you. IT’S HUMAN NATURE! as it was human nature to disregard that which is old and therefore useless? unfortunately this seems to be true from what is described here. i cannot tell you how much that bothers me. and this isn’t only the case with adults… it also is evident in young children. i don’t know about your experiences but i know plenty of families where young kids (4-12 years old) want nothing to do with their Grandparents. they’re old, they’re boring, they’re annoying? let’s try they love the shit out of you and would do anything for you. granted this may not be the case in every family but i am a believer in the idea of there being good in everyone, and in the sense of a family member, that love may not always be at the forefront of every relationship, every day… but it’s there because it’s family… much like how that farmer was part of the donkey’s family… they depended on one another, and when the donkey needed something from the farmer he chose to give up on the animal. never give up on someone because you think they are worthless… every single person on this planet was put there to hold some importance in your life. remember that and be grateful that they are sharing this world with you and accepting you for you, and even if they don’t accept you for you, appreciate the fact that they think you’re important enough to hold an opinion about you and about your life.

every day try to prove to those who doubt you that you are not a lost cause, that you can overcome and that you are worth a lot more than they initially expected.

“we can get over the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up.”

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day twenty

fact number thirtysix: (this is all in regard to loving relationships) i over analyze way too much… truth is, we are all one in the same when it comes to analyzing a conversation or an email or a text message… whether it be word for word or letter for letter… everyone wants to try and figure out what the other person is thinking, what they’re feelings are towards you and your relationship, friendship… whatever.  you just want to know. everything. but do you really want to know? i mean come on, do we ever want the entire story?  isn’t it better sometimes to leave some questions unanswered?  what are we really looking for when we read and reread and sometimes rereread those words (i’m leaving it at 3 once overs because if you rerereread something then you need to be reading a legitimate love “how to” book because i don’t think i can help you… but i’ll try)?  are we looking for some amazing revelation which will answer all of our reservations about the relationship? of course! that is exactly what we’re looking for.  but instead of looking for that, why don’t we start looking for something different!  start looking at ways you can take what they have said and flip it around so that the ball now lies in your court.  you be in charge.  let’s start making them be the ones analyzing and questioning… leave them* at the edge of their seats waiting for the phone to ring.  why do we always have to be the (seemingly) desperate half?

*notice i’ve used “them” and not “him” because this can happen and does happen in any type of a relationship… straight or otherwise.

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day eighteen

fact number thirtyfour: finding Lori has not been as easy as i thought it would be… this project is going to test my determination and my dedication to my work… if i find a way to come one step closer to finding her every day then it’s a step in the right direction. i just need to figure some stuff out… first of all, is she okay? (another question that could change lives) Lori has severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and this change in environment could mean she’s not mentally healthy because of the changes she’s experiencing… secondly is she scamming me? the only thing pointing in this direction was that there was another homeless person in the same spot as hers, asking the same questions (not asking for money, only asking for food) so that could mean they’re a team and really isn’t homeless… or they really are and just switch spots every once in a while… i really hope she’s not scamming, i want to believe there’s some people out there who are genuine… i’ll have to keep looking.

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day sixteen

fact number thirty: i am the most confused i have ever been in my entire life. i feel like all aspects are up in the air right now… this semester to be quite honest is scaring the shit out of me and it hasn’t even started, but i always do this… i go from being nervous and thinking i won’t be able to deal and that the semester is going to suck… i’ll have no life because i’ll be so into my photography and my improvement but i won’t improve enough to call myself successful. it’s like when is it going to be enough? when will i be at the photographic finish line? all i know for sure is that i have a long race ahead of me…

on another thought…

fact number thirtyone: this fact is linked to fact number thirty because it has to do with being confused. for the first time in my life i’m not chomping at the bit to be in a relationship with someone… yet as soon as someone who has the possibility to enter my life in that way i’m suddenly all okay with being with someone… wtf. why do chicks do that? why do i do that? i should really know better, but i guess it goes with the thought that deep down all of us want to be with someone, we all want to feel wanted, we want someone to be thinking about us 24/7 and when we start having those feelings… slightly… slightly is the key word in here because it’s only hinting but i can feel it growing slowly… (that’s what she said… haha, sorry… SEE! i go right there… did you see that?) … ANYWAY… i think we all want to be with someone, not anyone… well some people will just take anyone but those people usually have no clue how much they could grow if they were independent for a little… but what i really want to touch on is that this whole wanting to be wanted applies to everyone… yes everyone. you may not know it right now but when someone comes around and you’re all… “im not doing relationships right now!”… but they start flirting, and paying attention to you and make you feel like you’re the only one in the room and you without even knowing it are back to being in the same position you were trying to avoid this whole time. what makes this even more confusing is when it’s coming from someone you never… when i say never i mean never, would have pictured yourself with.

i’ll be touching on this more tomorrow so… till tomorrow…

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